The boundary between the church and the gay (I will use the terms "gay" and "homosexual" to refer to both men and women) community runs through the lives of individuals - Christians who are gay themselves, Christians who have brothers, sisters, children or friends who are gay. To many gay people outside the church, Christians are a relic of the past, an enemy to be attacked and mocked. To many Christians, the "gay lobby" is a depraved monster, eating away the foundations of our society. But those caught in the middle are the ones most often hurt when the two sides go to battle.
Gay Christians face many difficulties unknown by other Christians. In conversations and sermons, fellow believers speak of homosexuals as if all were outside the church. "We don't have that problem here" is the message given.
Biblical texts which condemn homosexuality are often cited out of context, ignoring the fact that the same texts also condemn adultery (Leviticus 18), envy, deceit, gossip, slander (Romans 1), theft and drunkenness (I Corinthians 6:9). Homosexual acts are frequently set apart as a particularly heinous sin, when the bible makes no such distinction. What Romans 1:18-2:4 makes clear is that none of us is entitled to pass judgement on others, since we are all sinners who have rejected God. We are all in need of God's grace.
In the meantime, gay and lesbian groups spread the message that Jesus said nothing about homosexuality, but was big on love and tolerance and stood against hypocrisy and misused authority, (which is true, but not the whole truth). Gospel passages which speak of losing one's life for the sake of the kingdom, or plucking out the eye that causes one to sin are not discussed.
Gay Christians who choose celibacy seldom receive credit or support for their daily battle against temptation. Those who decide to end a same-sex relationship for the sake of the gospel often go through the emotional agonies alone. They may be derided and abused by other homosexuals, who see their action as a betrayal.
Born to be gay?
Many Christians see homosexuality purely as a product of the will, a choice which has been made, and which can be reversed. Others speak of "curing" homosexuality.
No doubt there are people who have adopted a gay lifestyle as an experiment, or out of expediency (in prison for instance). They may well find that, having chosen not to live that way any longer, they are free to choose a different life. Some have experienced a moment of healing when their sexual orientation changes suddenly and miraculously. Others find that while they may choose to be celibate, neither conversion, nor obedience, nor prayer alters their inner desires. The idea that homosexuality is a condition rather than a pattern of activity did not develop until the last century, although homosexual practices have been around a lot longer than that. There has been a great deal of research into whether homosexuality is an inherited or an acquired condition. But many of the studies have had flaws in their techniques, and there is no clear evidence as yet. The climate surrounding the issue is such that newspapers and television broadcast the most dubious findings, while respected journals choose not to publish even the best studies for fear of offending one group or another.
Proving that some gay people are born that way is in any case unlikely to settle the argument over how they should be treated. Shown firm evidence of a "gene for homosexuality", some would immediately argue that homosexuality is a normal human variation similar to left-handedness, and should be accepted. Others would argue that it is a disease and needs to be cured or prevented. The same arguments are already used, even in the absence of proof.
Others have attempted to explain the development of same-sex attraction on psychological grounds. There is certainly good evidence that homosexual people are not always the happy, carefree people seen in Mardi Gras processions.
Psychoanalysts have suggested that homosexuality is the result of a damaged relationship between the child and the parent of the same sex. The problem with psychological theories is that they are difficult to test - no child has a perfect relationship with both parents, and determining what is significant comes down to the subjective judgement of the analyst. These theories also add to the pain of parents who are already struggling with the implications of their son or daughter's homosexuality.
How should the church respond to the gay lobby? Many people are deeply concerned by the growing influence of the "gay lobby" in our community, and especially in our schools. They fear that young people who are still ambivalent about their sexuality will be tempted into a gay lifestyle.
Yet as Steve Biddulph points out in his book "Manhood", the homophobia of past generations was as damaging to heterosexual youths as it was to homosexuals. Fear of being branded a "poofter" led to boys suppressing all feelings of affection, warmth, sensitivity and creativity. "Real men" had to learn to be cold and emotionless.
Even in this "liberated" age, qualities such as sensitivity to others are still often assumed to be a sign of homosexuality, even if their possessor is (theoretically) no longer victimised. How would David and Jonathan's friendship have fared in a 1990's high school? Homosexual activity shouldn't be promoted in schools, any more than promiscuity and adultery. Children need guidance on moral issues. But they also need to learn to tolerate and accept, rather than torment and reject, those who are different. Faced with a lifetime of rejection, it is not surprising that some young people go looking for people like themselves, and others take their own life. As a motivation to sin, loneliness is as powerful as lust.
The Church faces its own set of problems in relation to the growing power of the gay lobby. The main issue, and the most divisive, is the question of whether or not "practising" gay people should be ordained. Closely related to this is whether committed and faithful gay relationships should be recognised and blessed as marriages.
Moved by compassion, and respect for the love and faithfulness demonstrated by a few gay couples, some Christians like Archbishop Desmond Tutu argue in favour of recognising gay marriages. Yet the Church cannot change its standards (which are God's standards), just because some Christians have difficulty living up to them. On that criterion there would soon be no standards at all.
It is at the individual and congregational level that compassion and doctrine must mingle. Gay people have been described as "the harvest that no-one wants to gather". Yet surely Jesus wants these people in his kingdom. In the gospels we see Jesus meeting with "tax collectors and sinners" offering them both love and forgiveness. He brings emotional as well as physical healing to outcasts by reaching out and touching them. Some churches have begun making a deliberate effort to minister to gay people. Neither the gospel nor the bible's teaching on homosexual activity are diluted. But the pain, loneliness and temptations faced by homosexuals who choose to leave their homosexual lifestyle are recognised, rather than trivialised. Their need for genuine friendships with both sexes is met. Church members are shown how to overcome their own fears in order to befriend gay people of their own sex and offer them support, as part of a mentor scheme.
Gay Christians who are struggling to abstain from homosexual activity are not asked to pretend that they are heterosexual, but are accepted for who they are - Christians with their own special set of gifts and problems. In time, many find the struggle grows less and less.
By Dr Stella Budrikis
© Copyright 1998